Press 1 for English

Sometimes we're at a loss to understand our new mates here even though we supposedly speak the same language. One of their favorite things to do is to shorten words. My hairdressers here are Bec and Jac; Fremantle is Freo and Australia is Oz.

Aussies also like to add an ie to words; breakfast is brekkie, football is footie, Christmas is Chrissie and so on. I guess George is now Georgie or Geo - I'm not sure which!

However, some words are peculiar to Australia while some are shared with New Zealand and/or England but are still new to us. Here's an example of Strine for you:

Holy dooley, we wouldn’t be dead for quids! We are glad not to be crook and don’t want to spit the dummy and be whingers even if there we were up the gum tree. Fortunately, we haven’t had any Technicolor yawns.

We had mates over last night so we put on the tucker bag. It was so nice of them to bring George a nice prezzy of wine because it's worth bikkies here. Now I'm making spag bol for tomorrow.

Enough of this! Here's a partial list of Strine for you to learn before you come to visit:

Wouldn’t be dead for quids – doing very well
Wouldn’t have given it to a Jap on Anzac Day – negative
Furphy - false rumor
Like a curried egg fart – bad
Mickey Mouse – good
Oldies - parents
Fluking – finding
No show and glow – no reward
Crook – feeling sick
She’ll be apples – it will be OK
A bit of a spunk – Good looking guy
Fair dinkum – true, genuine
Give it a burl – to try
Knocker – someone who is critical of others
Whinger – complainer
Figjam – conceited person (F*!# I’m Great, Just Ask Me!)
London to a brick – certain
Have a naughty – to make love
Prezzy – gift
Spag bol –spaghetti bolognese
Stone the crows! Holy dooley! – exclamation, shows surprise
Stickybeak – nosy person
Technicolor yawn, chunder – vomit
Throw a wobbly – cause a scene
Yakka –work
Ta muchly – thanks a lot
Spit the dummy – get upset
Tall poppies – successful people
Dill – idiot
Worth bikkies – expensive
Budgie smuggler – men’s swimsuit
As busy as a cat burying shit – extremely busy
Come a guster – making a mistake
Give a gobful – berate, chastize
Kangaroos loose in the top paddock – mental or intellectually challenged
Have a lend on you – to fool you
Lair – in bad taste
Squizz – to take a look
Useful as an ashtray on a motorbike – utterly useless
Whacker, whacka – a jerk
Wowser – prude
Zack – a 5 cent coin, worthless
Up the gum tree – in trouble
Back of Bourke - a long way away
Bugger off - leave

Australians also have names for one another and other nationalities:

Sandgroper – Western Australians
Banana bender, cane toad – someone from Queensland
Mexican – those who live south of Queensland border
Crow eater – someone from South Australia
Cockroach – someone from New South Wales
Seppo – American
Taswegian – derogatory term for someone from Tasmania

It's time for this Seppo Sandgroper to bugger off for now. G'day mates!