Press 1 for English

Sometimes we're at a loss to understand our new mates here even though we supposedly speak the same language. One of their favorite things to do is to shorten words. My hairdressers here are Bec and Jac; Fremantle is Freo and Australia is Oz.

Aussies also like to add an ie to words; breakfast is brekkie, football is footie, Christmas is Chrissie and so on. I guess George is now Georgie or Geo - I'm not sure which!

However, some words are peculiar to Australia while some are shared with New Zealand and/or England but are still new to us. Here's an example of Strine for you:

Holy dooley, we wouldn’t be dead for quids! We are glad not to be crook and don’t want to spit the dummy and be whingers even if there we were up the gum tree. Fortunately, we haven’t had any Technicolor yawns.

We had mates over last night so we put on the tucker bag. It was so nice of them to bring George a nice prezzy of wine because it's worth bikkies here. Now I'm making spag bol for tomorrow.

Enough of this! Here's a partial list of Strine for you to learn before you come to visit:

Wouldn’t be dead for quids – doing very well
Wouldn’t have given it to a Jap on Anzac Day – negative
Furphy - false rumor
Like a curried egg fart – bad
Mickey Mouse – good
Oldies - parents
Fluking – finding
No show and glow – no reward
Crook – feeling sick
She’ll be apples – it will be OK
A bit of a spunk – Good looking guy
Fair dinkum – true, genuine
Give it a burl – to try
Knocker – someone who is critical of others
Whinger – complainer
Figjam – conceited person (F*!# I’m Great, Just Ask Me!)
London to a brick – certain
Have a naughty – to make love
Prezzy – gift
Spag bol –spaghetti bolognese
Stone the crows! Holy dooley! – exclamation, shows surprise
Stickybeak – nosy person
Technicolor yawn, chunder – vomit
Throw a wobbly – cause a scene
Yakka –work
Ta muchly – thanks a lot
Spit the dummy – get upset
Tall poppies – successful people
Dill – idiot
Worth bikkies – expensive
Budgie smuggler – men’s swimsuit
As busy as a cat burying shit – extremely busy
Come a guster – making a mistake
Give a gobful – berate, chastize
Kangaroos loose in the top paddock – mental or intellectually challenged
Have a lend on you – to fool you
Lair – in bad taste
Squizz – to take a look
Useful as an ashtray on a motorbike – utterly useless
Whacker, whacka – a jerk
Wowser – prude
Zack – a 5 cent coin, worthless
Up the gum tree – in trouble
Back of Bourke - a long way away
Bugger off - leave

Australians also have names for one another and other nationalities:

Sandgroper – Western Australians
Banana bender, cane toad – someone from Queensland
Mexican – those who live south of Queensland border
Crow eater – someone from South Australia
Cockroach – someone from New South Wales
Seppo – American
Taswegian – derogatory term for someone from Tasmania

It's time for this Seppo Sandgroper to bugger off for now. G'day mates!

Sights You Won't See in the Fort

Those of you who know George well won't be surprised that he checks out every nook and cranny when "on a hoof". His parents named him well although they had never heard of Curious George when he was born. Whenever we pass a building, he just has to know what's inside.

Last week we discovered a circus school not far from the Notre Dame campus (Yes, the Fighting Irish are alive and living in Oz!) in downtown Fremantle. Now I know what I can do in case I get bored. If I can't manage the trapeze or learn how to be a clown, perhaps there's a fat lady position open.

Today we were walking in the neighborhood where we'll be moving in a couple of weeks. Homes vary from the run-down to the sublime although nothing is cheap in Fremantle. The average home cost is $800,000. The area is full of cafes, restaurants, art galleries and the like. There is even a little chocolate factory.

Not far from our favorite Italian restaurant is a business George always wondered about named Ada Rose. There is a sign on the building listing the hours but there is no menu so we ruled out restaurant as a possibility. We had fun guessing what it was and had many theories including night club, private club, and workout place. Today the gate was open so we walked into the courtyard. There was a sign telling us to ring the bell and a lady answered the door in jeans and a sweathsirt, telling us they didn't open until 6 p.m. George then inquired, "What is the Ada Rose?" "It's a bordello, love!" Didn't guess that one!

I guess there are all sorts of opportunities for work here. I have a high school classmate who is reputed to be a madam in Nevada. Perhaps I should find her to let her know she has work opportunities here. I think I'd rather be the fat lady in a circus!